Welcome to 2014.

As I sat with my 2 1/2 year old daughter and husband on new years eve watching the clock counted down, 10…9…8..7.. and the new year approached us very fast, I had time to reflect on the year that had gone, by in what seemed like soooo fast. I think the reason why it went by so fast was because it was filled with so much heart ace and sadness.. don’t get me wrong there was a bunch of happiness and joy but the sadness outweighed them this year. I’m pushing forward, and not going to let that get me down. 2014 is going to be my year. I have a feeling its going to be filled with lots of love, and happiness. I’m sure some difficult times will come our way but if we made it through 2013, there is no doubt in my mind we can make it though what ever comes our way in 2014.

Rylee Paige is getting so big. I can’t believe that in a matter of 3 1/2 short months she will be 3. She will officially be a preschooler. I’m looking forward to the joy of putting my preschool teaching knowledge back to work and use it on my own daughter. I used all my knowledge to teach other peoples 3 year old’s and now I get to use it on my own child.  She is using full sentences when she talks to me, and is very strong willed. She is fully potty trained, and has been for the last year, day and night.  She loves playing with other children and is learning how to share very well. We are still working on her eating habits, but she is coming along.

Me? Despite the year I’ve had, the heart ace, and sorrow I’ve seen, I feel I am a much stronger person and I can’t wait to see what the new year brings. I’ve been nannying for a family with 2 very energetic girls (3 and 4 years old) for almost a year. It is a very challenging at times, but I truly do enjoy it. I enjoy being able to take my child to work with me, I enjoy her getting to play and learn (yes she has learned some bad things) from the little girls.  I’m still working hard on my photography and loving it every step of the way.

The hubby. The hubby is doing good. He is working in NJ and has been promoted and gone salary instead of hourly, very helpful. He is still playing disc golf and doing very well at it. All in all, he is doing very well. 

Hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday, a great New Years Eve, and a truly fulfilling 2014. I’ll try to update more often :)ImageImage

Another year

Another year as come and gone. Another year older, another year wiser. Its funny how having kids makes your year FLY by way to fast. They grow to fast, and learn so much. A year filled with happiness and some defiantly sadness. From the sadness we grow and learn how to except the things we simply can not change. It hurts and sucks but its all part of our learning process. Some times I wonder is this the life I’m suppose to be living? Is this my path? Yet, when I look at my daughter, and my family, I know I’m right where I’m suppose to be. I’m right where I need to be. I’m excited for the rest of the year to come. Planning a move, going back to school, and all in all making a better life for my family and most importantly a better life for my daughter because she deserves all life has to give her. One year older, one year wiser and many more to come. Many more things to learn and see, and I’m super excited to take everything on and give it my ALL!

~J

“My give a damns busted”

Ever wish you could say/feel “my give a damns busted”? Let me tell you that’s how i’ve  ever so wishing I could feel. I wish I could just look at the situation i’m in and yell “MY GIVE A DAMNS BUSTED”. Truth is I can’t. My give a damn is far from busted and it sucks. My mind is going 8000 miles an hour. My migraines are back, thankfully not as bad as before, this I thank my baltic amber for. My sleep is disturbed and not from the little 2 year old that calls me Mommy. I feel like my heart is being pulled in way to many directions and I don’t know what to say or do. I want to make it right, but I am just me. Just one person. Stuck in a place I never expected to find myself in. Who can I talk to? 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever??

Have you ever walked into a crowded room, and all you can hear are the thousands of thoughts running in your head? So many voices all around you but all you can hear is that one voice? Standing in that crowded room surrounded by many people, some family, some friends, some strangers. Yet you feel so alone?

Its been one year.

Its been one year. One year since you left us , one year since you were taken from us. I still think about you daily, it still hurts knowing you aren’t around. I still have, at times, feeling of anger. Anger that someone who only cared for others, one of the truly good guys, was taken from everyone who knew and loved him. Anger that you aren’t around to get to see Rylee grow, she is growing so fast! Learning new things EVERY day!!! She is so smart. It pains me that she will never get to know you. It pains me that all she will ever know is the stories she is told about. You loved her so much and it pains me that you aren’t around to watch her grow. At the same time I feel relieved. Relieved you are no longer suffering. Relieved you are finally at peace. I miss you and think about you everyday!

20 Facts about….ME

So this is different, I’m normally writing about my daughter, or my family. However, lets take some time for me. Lets see if I can get get 20 facts down.

1. I’m a Leo. According to the sign Leo’s are: “an ambitious lot, and their strength of purpose allows them to accomplish a great deal. The fact that these folks are also creative makes their endeavors fun for them and everyone else.”…

2. I talk. A LOT. I enjoying talking. I enjoying listening. If I know you, and you know me, you know the problem isn’t getting me to talk, the problem is getting me to stop talking. Now if I don’t know you, or have just met you, you are safe. I won’t talk your ear off until I feel comfortable with you.

3. I’m sensitive. It doesn’t take much to hurt my feelings. I’ve always been this way, and though I’d like to think I’ve gotten stronger with the years, that sensitive little girl is still living deep inside.

4. I plan. I am a planner. I don’t like not knowing what is going to happen. I need to know. I need to plan. Even if a event is 6 months a way, I need to start planning. Example? I started planning my daughters 2nd birthday quite awhile ago. For two reasons? One, the already stated, I’m a planner. Two, the fact that my daughter is turning two makes me sad. It is bitter sweet. I’m so happy she is growing and learning and accomplishing new things it makes me sad to think, that itty, bitty, tiny little jelly bean, is now a toddler. Planning is keeping me sane.

5. I love hard. I love my husband, so hard that even when I am so angry with him, even when I think I can’t do it anymore, I can’t imagine not having him by my side. This also means I hurt hard. When I feel hurt, it is bad. I’m not talking about “ouch I stubbed my toe” I’m talking about my heart.

6. Photography is my passion, a passion I’ve had since I was little. A passion I followed threw high school, and college. A passion that never went away, but got put on the side burner. That is until my little inspiration came along, my daughter.

7. I love my daughter more then anything in this world. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. She is the most important thing in my life.

8. I’m a mommy’s girl. I’ll say it again, I’M A MOMMY’S GIRL. I may be a wife, a mommy, a homeowner, a adult, I still need my mommy. She is a strong, beautiful, intelligent, patient woman, and I can only hope one day to be half the person she is. She was a single mom, she worked full time, and went to school full time to make sure that I had a better life, that we had a better life. She is my hero.

9. My best friend, she lives in California, and eve thousands of miles away, I still consider her my best friend. I grew up with her, her family was my family away from home and I love them all with all my heart. Its true what they say, the very best of friends can go can months, years without seeing, or getting to talk much and still have a great friendship. I miss her. Kaitlin thanks for making so many amazing childhood memories with me. I can only hope my daughter has a friend like you.

10. I truly enjoy scrap booking and sewing… I’m a creative person, and I wish I had more time to do it.

11. My faith has be tested. Is being tested. It is something I am working threw and will continue to do so.

12. I’m not one to forgive and forget. I may forgive but I will never forget.

13. I’d like to move. I’d like to move somewhere warm. But see fact #8. I can’t live further then a car drive from my mom.

14. I’m feeling sad my daughter is potty training. I love cloth diapering, it’s become quite and addiction. They are just so cute. Silly I know. Most parents can’t wait until the day they can say bye bye diapers. Darn gDiapers for making such cute diapers!

15. I wish I had a closer relationship with my dad. I wish it hard.

16. I’m in love with the 90′s on 9 channel on my XM radio. It brings back so many memories when I hear the music.

17. While nobody can replace my dad, two men have come very close. One, my step dad. He is great. The second. My father in law. I wish I had more time with him, I wish my daughter would have had more time to get to know her grandpa. He was amazing. He loved her, and everyone so much.

18. Yes. I am still nursing. No it is still none of your business, in fact I only state this because i’m tired of the negative comments. Your child is your to parent, mine is mine.

19. I HATE math. Hate isn’t even a strong enough word. I detest math. I LOATHE math.

20. I’m so happy this is over. Good night.

This is me.

I am by no means rich. But I am not poor. I may have wants, but I am happy with what I have. I am a 25 year old wife, mother, and homeowner. My family may not always get what they want but they will always have what they need. I am a stay at home mom. I work from sun up to sun down and overnight. I don’t get sick days I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I am thankful for where I am today. I bought a house, a home, at the age of 22 when most of my friends were still living at home and partying all night. (Not saying there is anything wrong with that) I got married a year later. While yes, young love is difficult, I’m not going to sit here a pretend we haven’t had our struggles, because oh man have we ever. But we worked it out. That’s what love is. Loving in the good and in the bad and finding away to work together as a team. We then welcomed a beautiful, happy, healthy little girl into our life. Things got more difficult, but she was worth it. Money got tighter, stress grew, sleepless nights came and went and now we are at almost 2 years and I wouldn’t have given up any of the hard times. You know why? They have made me stronger, they have made my family stronger. When I look at my daughter I see promise, hope, love, and so much more. She keeps me going on those difficult days. Friends? They come and go I have come to learn. You find out who your TRUE friends are when you have kids. You find out who your true friends are when you grow up but don’t grow apart no mater how long you go without talking. I’m so thankful for the friends I have. I am also thankful for the friends that I’ve lost because each of them taught me a lesson in life. I am me. I am happy with who I am.

Well….

Its been over a month since my last update. So much for blogging more often. Well that is the life of a mommy of an almost 2 year old. So lets get up to date.

Last week Miss Rylee Paige had her first bad sickness. Bad as in two hospital visits, 4 pounds lost, and non-stop vomiting for 6 days. It was so hard as a mom to see my baby so sick and in pain. She wouldn’t eat anything, hardly would drink, and she couldn’t stop puking. It got so bad that her sugar dropped down to 62, she just laid around unable to really play. Doctors as well as myself were very concerned about her weight loss. 4 pounds isn’t much for me or you but for a baby who is already under weight it is very concerning. We ended up in the children’s ER on Monday and Friday. Both days she had to have blood work and a bunch of other test done, including an x-ray of her chest. She was pumped with fluids via IV, including sugar water to bring her sugar back up. As my little baby laid there hooked up to all the machines (including heart monitor) my heart broke, I would take her place in a heart beat if I could. As painful as it was to see her in that condition, I was very thankful for the wonderful pediatric ER doctor and their nurses. They took the very best of care of her and made her as comfortable as possible. Thankfully she is all better and started eating more last night. Now we just need to get her to gain that weight back.

On a positive note. Rylee is growing up so fast, she is so smart, and beautiful. She is signing so many words,as well as talking as she signs. The other day I had this conversation with her and it blew my mind:
Rylee: “Mommy”
Me: “Yes baby”
Rylee: “More (said and signed) water (said and signed) “
Me: “What do you say”?
Rylee” “Please” (Said and signed)
{I handed her, her water}
Rylee: “Thank you” (said and signed)

I had one of those my jaw hit the floor moments you see in the silly cartoons. My little baby just had a conversation with me, not just a talked to me, but signed and talked to me at the same time! I truly believe her vocabulary is so advanced not only because I’ve talked to her like a person and not a baby ever since she was born, but also because she started signing so young. She has such a vocabulary- not only talking but also a vocabulary in sign. I’m so proud of my little girl! She is also learning her colors and her letters, and learning them FAST. Two months ago we were walking in Hobby Lobby and Rylee starts yelling and pointing “B mommy, B mommy” I look in the direction she was pointing and sure enough she was pointing to a “B”. She truly blows my mind each and every day, and each and every day I fall so much more in love with her.

We have started the great adventure of…. drum roll…. POTTY TRAINING!!! She was actually doing REALLY good before she got sick, She was wearing panties at home and going on the potty. Sadly ever since she got sick she has not wanted to sit on the potty, it’s almost as if all of a sudden she is scared of it so we have decided to take a week off and see what happens.

PARKETTES! Rylee has been doing amazing at Parkettes, the winter semester just ended, and she starts the Spring semester next Saturday. She is learning so much there. I see it when we go to the park and she is able to do stuff with ease that other kids her age can’t do, or struggle to do. She is gaining so much strength, and balance. She is able to walk across the beam ALL BY HERSELF! I managed to get it on video the very first time she did it!!! She LOVES the bars, and is constantly doing flips on them (with help from her teacher) when we go to the park she is constantly wanting to go on the bars, and everything she can use as a balance beam she will. I’m so proud of her, and so happy for this amazing opportunity she has to grow and learn.

As for me? I’m doing pretty good. I just found I out that the mom that I nanny for is leaving her job so I’m on the search for a new nanny job. I have had some seasonal depression I feel, however today with its beautiful 50+ degree weather, and tomorrow even being warmer I feel a lot happier. It was nice to spend the WHOLE day outside with my baby. She was so happy running around and playing! It was truly wonderful, and I can’t wait for more outdoor play tomorrow.

Chuck is doing rather well at his new job, and I am very proud of him. The commute sucks, but he is good at his job, and maybe soon we will be able to move into a bigger house a little closer to his job to make it a little easier on him. He is still playing folf (Frisbee golf) and becoming very good at it.

Well, as I said we spent all day outside today, and that fresh air and running around has made me pretty sleepy so that is all for tonight.

Goodnight!

Lets get up to date.

So it has come to my attention that I SUCK at blogging. Between my days of running after a 1 1/2 year old (two Tuesday-Thursday), Keeping the house clean, again I bring you back to that 1 1/2 year old- nothing stays clean for longer then a max of two minutes, that is of course unless its after bedtime, and building my photography business bigger I feel like there are just not enough hours in a day, but tell me a mother who doesn’t feel that way. So lets get up to date with where us Moyer’s are and how we’re doing.

Most of our friends know that my husband, Chuck was laid of from his job in June due to the call center he worked for closing down. Well we were blessed enough that he landed a awesome job that pays well enough that I’m still able to stay home with Rylee and keep her out of daycare. Bummer part is he has a commute but we can’t complain, at least he has a job, and a job with room for growth. He has already moved up the ladder 3 or 4 times in the short 4 months he has worked there.

As for me? You know when I’m not running after Rylee and not babysitting another 1 1/2 year old I’m working hard at building my photography portfolio/business. I’m excited about the new projects I have planned as well of the new projects I’ve done. I’m also proud that most of my shoots I’ve done are from people I don’t know, meaning word of mouth of random people liking my work is spreading. This is great. This last summer my mom and I worked some festivals with our Children’s and adult Organic clothing (as well as other items) line. We are still unsure where our path will go with Eco Couture LTD, we are hoping for it to grow but as of right now we are stepping back (mainly due to the craziness of the holiday time, and the upcoming craziness of the maddness of birthdays about to hit us. My baby brothers, I can’t believe it will be 9 and 11 in March, and even more unbelievable my baby girl is going to be TWO! That brings me to my next update. The only way I’ve been able to keep myself from getting all teary eye is to plan, plan, plan this little princesses party. I’m not going into details yet but it is going to be an EPIC party to say the least, and I am SUPER excited. It is a bitter sweet moment when you realize your baby is growing into a toddler.

Now the one we’ve all be waiting for- the cute one! Miss Rylee Paige! Miss Rylee Paige is growing like a weed. Mainly in her height. She is in the 75% for her height but only weighing in at 21 pounds and in the 2nd or 3rd % for her weight. This doesn’t come to a surprise to me as this kid won’t eat solid foods. We had her in at a nutritionist they gave us some helpful tips but so far she is still being her stubborn self and refusing most solid foods. I am at my wits ends so if any of my blog followers- if there are any, have any helpful tips I’d love to hear them! Other then that little set back she is doing amazing! She is learning all her colors- her favorite is…can you guess it? PINK just like her mama. Everything is “pink” she has a pink tutu she has been insisting on wearing the last month so that is fun. She has started sleeping through the night- amazing!! She typically sleeps (in HER BED) from 8pm until 6am, comes in bed with me and nurses and goes right back to sleep until 7:30-8am. I can’t tell you how rested I feel now that she isn’t nursing all through the night- or more so just using me as a paci. Yes we are still nursing due to the fact that she wouldn’t get enough nutrition if we weren’t, and yes she still has a paci, otherwise I would be her paci every chance she got. We are planning on jumping into the adventures of potty training this summer and if all goes well we will be diaper free! Its sad to see our pretty cloth diapers go buy, buy. Butsupper happy that in the 21 months she’s been alive I have only bought 1 pack of diapers- that was when she was in premie for 3 months and we didn’t get enough packs of premie diapers at the baby shower. I love cloth diapering and if anyone is interested and wants some info, feel free to contact me, I’d love to help you out! She has also been into Elmo! Elmo this Elmo that. Another bittersweet milestone? I’ve officially gone from “mama” to “mommy” but the way she says it is so sweet, it melts my heart! She has also become very interested in art projects! She loves to paint, and color, and takes her time. It is very cute watching how focused she gets with it, and how she is constantly picking new colors. Her imagination is also growing. It is so fun watching her play. She got a doll house for Christmas from some dear friends of mine and the way she will sit there and play with the “mommy”, “Dada”, and the “Baby” (2 of them) she loves it. She has also been very interested in playing with the Beauty Salon that her great grandma got her when she was younger. She looks in the mirror and brushes her hair, it is SOO cute. A BIG passion of hers is books. She is constantly bring books to me asking me “please” we probably read 9 books before nap time. Probably more. Most of them I could read by memorization.

Well I could go on and on and on about how smart, beautiful, and amazing she is. But lets end it here tonight so I have more to blog about at a later date….

On a side note… I CAN’T wait for summer. I’m getting cabin fever being stuck in the house all winter. I’ve been feeling a little depressed the last couple days mainly at night when the baby goes to sleep. I’m hoping its just the weather and it goes away when it gets nicer out.

I’ll leave you with some beautiful pictures I got of my daughter for her 21 month update!! DSC_0044

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